Shadow Hunger


(Thomas Hawk [CC / Flickr])

My shadow’s so deep it could eat you all up.

You’re much more attractive than your profile.

Did I say that aloud?


Oh well, it’s probably best to get things in the open from the start. It’s not like it’s something you need to worry about. My shadow’s lurking somewhere else this evening, so it won’t disturb us. I made sure it was fully sated yesterday so it won’t be looking to bother you or anyone else for a little while.

Don’t go.

Sit down, please, it was just a joke. You’re right, it was a bad joke. It’s hard to develop a normal sense of humour with a shadow to feed.

No, that wasn’t a joke. When we get to know each other, you’ll come to recognise my joke face. You’ll find I’m really quite likeable in the right lighting. Though I should warn you that I sometimes lose control of my shadow when I’m upset by things like, for example, a Tinder date walking out on me before the starter.

Yes, that was a joke. See, you’re getting the face already. I mean the bit about the lighting was a joke, not the rest of it.

Look, I hope I haven’t made things awkward by letting it slip out. I hope we can see it as a fortuitous slip of the tongue. Proof that honesty is the best policy. It’s best to get all our demons out in the open, and see where we go from there, don’t you think?

Your turn now. Share your demons. I promise I’ll be sympathetic, even if yours are only metaphorical.

But first, shall we have some popadums or shall we go straight to the main course?

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Posted in Saturday Hooptedoodle

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