Seminar Awesome

seminarawesome

(Max Sat [CC / Flickr])

My life began with his life coaching seminar. Twenty minutes in, I knew he was changing my life. When it finished, I went straight out and bought his book. I got it here. You should get it yourself, but don’t ask to borrow it. His book doesn’t leave my sight.

Before I heard of him, I was an ordinary sort of bloke. Had an OK job, rented an OK flat, was seeing an OK girlfriend. I thought I was, well, OK. Then I heard about him. That seminar was awesome. Me and two hundred other blokes who thought we were OK until he showed us you only think OK’s OK when you got no self-esteem. When you got self-esteem, you don’t settle for OK. When you got self-esteem, the only thing that’s OK is awesome.

And he gave us self-esteem that day. All two hundred of us. You’ve never seen anything like it. It was…yeah, it was awesome.

Next day, I dumped the girlfriend. Who needs an OK girlfriend when there’s a world full of beautiful women who can’t resist self-esteem? He taught us that.

Day after that, I dumped the job. He showed me what they’d been hiding from me: I was worth more than a cubicle in a room full of cubicles. Me, I’m worth my own office with one of those chairs with the high backs, like my boss had. Self-esteem doesn’t sit in that little chair they kept me in, with its five little wheels and a rip in the blue fabric.

My boss had no self-esteem either. I hadn’t seen it before him, but I could see it in the shrug when I handed in my notice. My boss was losing the best asset in his company and he didn’t have the self-esteem to even try to keep me there.

Loser.

I’m still stuck in the OK flat, but not for long. I’ve got the self-esteem for a big chair, big salary job now, and I’ll be moving up to a penthouse as soon as I find it. It’s only matter of time. He told us it sometimes takes a little time, but self-esteem knows better than to rush things.

Now you know who I am, you know why it makes sense. It’s only a couple of grand I’m asking for, just to tide me over. You know I’m a good investment. I believe in myself.

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Posted in Saturday Hooptedoodle

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