Self Esteem for the Yes Man

SelfEsteemForTheYes-Man

(Simon Evans [CC / Flickr])

You look like a man who needs to talk to someone, so why don’t you get it off your chest? Tell me what’s on your mind.

No, let me guess. The look on your face tells me a thing or two about you before you even speak. It tells me you’re a man stuck working for a boss with half your intelligence? Believe me, I’ve been there.

Girlfriend who knows how to want but not how to thank. Been there too.

No girlfriend at all? Got that T-shirt.

Tell me some details, let’s see if I can help you. We’ll start with how to calibrate that boss of yours. Sounds like he’s a sheep, so it shouldn’t be difficult. We’ll get to the girlfriend problem later. Dimwit bosses are good practice. Pickup technique is a little harder.

Now, tell me about your latest problem at work.

Ah, right. So to summarise, you got the assignment in three days early and – let me guess – your line manager had you spend those three days rewriting round in circles until you ended up back where you started just in time for the deadline.

This is a problem technically called the bossmuppet. The less they understand what you’re doing, the more they have to make you redo it so they can say they’re actually managing you instead of riding your coattails. The best way to deal with them is to hand everything in at the last minute so they don’t have time to go Kermit on it.

That’s what it’s called. The first step is to learn the jargon.

But let’s examine the real problem here. It’s not the bossmuppet, is it? We need to look at the other half of this interaction. The half that turns up in every interaction that leaves you with that look on your face.

You.

Now don’t take this the wrong way. It’s a common problem with low self-esteem which, let’s be honest here, is your real problem.

You are a yes-man. I’m sure everyone in the office says so. Just not to your face.

You’re frowning because you know, in your heart, that it’s the truth.

The question before us now is: what are you going to do about it?

Well, yes, denying it is the first stage of acceptance. No, don’t dismiss it, I learned this stuff in seminars with the world’s leading experts on self-esteem…

Hey, I’m offering you the solution to all your problems here and you’re just walking away…

I can’t understand why no one ever takes me seriously.

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Posted in Saturday Hooptedoodle

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